For a dear, dear friend

I know that I came across really harsh yesterday and the day before that but I think I was just giving you what you needed. When I said I wasn't going to sugarcoat stuff for you, I meant it. And i think this is what friendship is all about. We need to be honest, even brutally so, if the occassion calls for it. And yes, in this instance, it was very much called for.

I know that you are grieving over the mistakes you have done over the past four years. I know you know there are many many things you ought to work on and need to improve on to finally break free from your past. But knowing these things are not enough. Really. You ought to actually do something about it to make other people know that you know where you are supposed to go.

I also think you need to know the beauty of appreciating the little things and being thankful of what is being given to you instead of just demanding things that people are just not yet ready to give you. Many times over, it has been said that life is short and that we ought to live it to the fullest. I know you may think this is a tall order but it really is simple: you just need to chill and refrain from constantly fretting about problems or issues that, you have to admit, are just all in your head.

I don't think I can say it more often: you have a beautiful, beautiful life. Many women would crave the independence and financial stability that you have right now. Don't waste all these by harboring negative emotions and entertaining negative thoughts.

Having said that, I think the first steps to take would be to give yourself time to take in all the changes you need to do in your life. Let the ideas and the therapy percolate before doing anything else. The way I see it, you first need to make sure you are worthy to be given a (second or third or fourth) chance to prove that you have indeed changed for the better.

As I have said before, I believe in the innate power of a human being to initiate the change they want in their lives. I know you can do it. Prove to me you can. Why? Because as much as I love you, you really are starting to get to my nerves. And I write that with much love and affection I could muster.